Tug-O-War

One: Yeah---It's time for the annual Tug, Tug-O-War!

Two: Yes! It is Tug, Tug-O-War time!

Judge: To your places, tuggers.

One: Hold up! O Great Tug Awareness!

Two: Yeah, before we get roped into this. What is this Tug-O-War thing anyway?

Judge: HA---HAAAAAA! You're serious aren't you? Okay, Webster defines Tug-O-War as a contest in which two teams pull at opposite ends of a rope, each trying to drag the other across a central line.

One and Two: Okay, Ready, 1, 2, 3 (Both pull against themselves - the wrong way)

Judge: No, No, No! You're all strung out. You stand on this side! You stand on that side! You pull this way! You pull that way! He's your opponent. She's your opponent. (starts singing to the tune of “Hokie Pokie”) And that's what its all about. You do the Tug-of -Warry. Ohh---sorry. Ready---Begin!

One and Two: (pulling, but not getting anywhere) GRRRR, AHHHH!

One: I'm all tugged out.

Two: Me, too. I feel so pulled.

Judge: Tugged between two worlds. Join us next week when Luke and Laura…Okay, maybe I'm stretching it. Back to the Tug Fest.

Two: Okay, the object is to pull the flag past the cone. Right?

One: Right. So if we both pull this way it will work.

Two: Okay, ready.

One and Two: 1, 2, 3 (both are pulling in One's direction)

Two: Wait a minute! Who's pulling my rope?

One: (a cheer) It's me! It's me!

Two: I know that, but we're pulling in the wrong direction.

One: No, we're not.

Two: Why, I ought to tie you up. If we both pull in that direction, then you win and I lose.

One: Yeah.

Two: Okay, I can tug that way. Let's both pull the same direction. You pull this way and I'll pull the same way. Ready! Pull! (now pulling in Two's direction)

One: Hold on Tug Face!

Two: Oh yeah! Rope Head! (One and Two start fighting)

Judge: HEY, JUST STOP! STOP! Can't we all just get along?

One: I'm sorry.

Two: You know this is so sad. All my feelings are in such a knot. You know it would all be just great, if we were on the same team.

One and Two: WOW!! What an idea.

One: Did you think of that yourself?

Two: Yeah!

One and Two: WOW!

One: Okay, you can be on my team.

Two: NO.

One: Come on!

Two: Just say NO!

One: Why not?

Two: Because that's not the winning team.

One: It's not?

Two: No.

One: Okay. (One joins Two on his side)

Judge: Ready! 1, 2, 3…Pull! (both One and Two pull, falling down. Judge runs up to look at the flag) This side wins!!

Both: (celebrating) Yeah!! We are the winners!! Super Stars!! Tug-O-War!!